In the conclusion of this two-part series, I’ll share my personal journey toward three additional dimensions of wellness: intellectual, spatial (organizing), and time. Remember, though, there’s no “right” way to move ahead; there’s only your way. Because each individual has a unique path to well-being based on their specific needs.
To read Part 1, which focuses on my emotional, spiritual, and physical growth and healing, please click here.
Intellectual wellness
Growing up, my father always encouraged us to be reading at least three books simultaneously: one fiction (such as “A Fine Balance” by Rohinton Mistry), one that taught you something new (perhaps like “Outliers” by Malcolm Gladwell), and one to better yourself (a favorite here was “A New Earth” by Eckhart Tolle). This would “feed different parts of the mind based on your mood,” he’d say. And it instilled in us the desire to always be learning and growing—a gift that has continued to give throughout my life.
As an adult, after my divorce, the churches I attended studied books from a wide range of authors. This was atypical to the approach of my past churches, which sought wisdom only from the Bible, and I found it fascinating. A couple of memorable books to note were “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen Covey and “The Celestine Prophecy” by James Redfield. One big takeaway was the awareness that wisdom can be found in many places, and there are universal principles that guide our lives. My father enjoyed this intellectual journey with me, and opened up more about the similar foundational thoughts and principles in his life as a freemason.
This segued into books about mindfulness, meditation, yoga, and learning about the mind-body connection. It took me into fasting and nutrition, too—during COVID, I started reading and learning more about diabetes, as it was one of those things that contributed to how people’s bodies responded to the virus. Having reversed my own prediabetes, I was inspired to learn more so I could support others on their journey to physical wellness. This led to me studying and completing a coaching certification with a focus on wellness. I kept my commitment to my father’s three-book rule, although two were on the topic of some aspect of wellness (“Metabolical” by Dr. Robert Lustig, “The Complete Guide to Fasting” by Dr. Jason Fung) and one was on bettering myself (“Atomic Habits” by James Clear).
Until shortly before he died, my father and I would regularly share what we were reading in letters and phone calls. And I still keep the rhythm of having three books going at a time.
Reading recommendations
The books cited earlier have all helped or inspired me in some way. In addition, today I am reading the following:
🕴 The Magician — Colm Tóibín (historical fiction)
🗣 Digital Body Language — Erica Dhawan (nonfiction)
🧘🏽♀️ The Way of Integrity — Martha Beck (nonfiction)
Spatial wellness
Ten years ago, looking to learn something new, I read “The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up” by Marie Kondo. To be completely honest, I was skeptical of her approach for decluttering; not only was I an organized person already, I was also the friend that my friends called to help them organize their homes.
But in 2019, with buzz building around Marie’s show on Netflix, I decided to check my ego and re-read the book with an open mind. I committed to do every single thing in the book in a three-week period. I also read “Spark Joy,” which was her companion of sorts to the first book with illustrative details on how to do the work.
Her approach, aka The KonMari Method™, encourages tidying by category instead of by room so you aren’t picking away at little piles of stuff forever. You begin with clothes, then move on to books, papers, komono (miscellaneous items), and finally, sentimental items. The most difficult category for me during this process? You guessed it—BOOKS!
In addition to writing my name in every book I purchased, my father taught me to write the date and the city and country where I bought it. Over time, I started adding other details. For example, on the inside cover of “Memoirs of a Geisha” by Arthur Golden (bought June 12, 1998, in Lake Oswego, Oregon), I noted that I was “reading on the flight to Miami for Derrick’s funeral.” How could I get rid of these books without losing those memories? To start, I entered all of them—including my notes on the dates, locations, and stories—into Goodreads.
I also had a large number of books in the categories of metaphysics, mindfulness, nutrition, exercise, and more—many of which had not been opened in 20 years. I was keeping them just in case, but as Marie noted, that the wisdom of those books is within me.
After doing a “joy check,” I took 100+ books in total and donated them. I literally cried on my way to the donation place, tears of gratitude for all that I had learned. I still have a bookcase at home filled with books, and I still love books—I just don’t need to own hundreds of them.
I completed my entire home in the three weeks per the directions of her book. It was emotional, cathartic, and I felt amazing! There was an element of mindfulness teaching in her method that resonated with my spiritual practice, along with practicality that tapped into my professional career as an engineer. I became a champion for her method and subsequently chose to be trained as a KonMari certified consultant.
Time wellness
There was a time when I would plan out every waking moment of my day—even when going on vacation. Today, however, I have learned that “time wellness” doesn’t have to mean your every minute is planned: It simply means that you should maximize your days in the way you want. My schedule is structured, but I also build in time for pure fun, or days to do nothing at all. And it works. For example, I typically meal prep on Sundays and Wednesdays, buying fresh vegetables and meats on those days. One of my weekend days is usually blocked off to do whatever I feel like, and the other is spent taking care of my business.
Often, we are most productive when we have tons of stuff to do and we cannot afford to drop the ball, but that doesn’t necessarily align with our need to be well. In fact, it can be a recipe for burnout. When my son was 4 years old, I was married, working as an engineer, and studying toward two master’s degrees—all at the same time. I did laundry, cooked all of our meals, and kept the house clean. And it worked, for a time. But at the end of two years, I was completely depleted. And guess what? When you reach that point, you’re no longer going to be very productive. So the key is to find balance while maximizing your days.
One of the classes for my Industrial Engineering degree was called “Time Studies.” It focused on taking a defined amount of work and finding the most efficient method to do that work in terms of time and effort. I use the 30-minute time sheets from that class with some clients today, because it is eye-opening to see the breakdown of our time over a 24-hour period. It provides a new kind of awareness that can lead to a decision for change.
Many of my clients are wary at first, and understandably so. But once they get organized, and start thinking more mindfully about time, they can all attest to the amount of additional time they now have in their life. They don’t waste time looking for things, they have a process in place for managing their lives, they feel they have control—because they do. And even when things go a bit sideways (as they always do once in a while), they are equipped with the tools to cope and move forward.
I’m moving forward, too
A wellness journey never truly ends; it evolves. Although I’m a coach and a guide, it doesn’t mean that I have all the answers—I might simply be a little further along a particular path than you are, or I might have a different perspective from a different path entirely. And I continue to learn and grow, seeking new perspectives, in every dimension of wellness. I find it through my reading, through my life experiences, and through working with my clients. We’re all on our own journey, and I hope reading a bit about mine can help inform yours.